fuckfuckfuck

Okay, fuck. Today started out so fucking well, I was so happy throughout it and even though I barely ate anything, I still had tons of energy.

My family wanted to go eat out, so I agreed since I only planned to eat a salad or something small there and be content for the rest of the night. But no, we end up going to a Mexican restaurant and I have more than I wanted to.

Binge:
*1 salad with lettuce, tomatoes, fucking cheddar AND mozzarella cheese, sour cream and olives, with an avocado and mayonaise(I think anyway) dressing. Some salad.

*Nachos with cheese, green and red peppers and olives with red smashed salsa.

*8 or 9 Chunks Ahoy! cookies.

I bussed and ran all the way back home, had the cookies there and puked it up afterward, but still. God. I'm so mad at myself because now, I'm not in a good mood anymore, I'm pissed as shit and sad and KLAHFAGHKGUEBDF I just don't like it.

I'm going to go out in a few minutes to the drug store 'cause I need some more chewing gum and audio CDs. I'm making a mixed one for my mum for Mother's day. Even though it's a little less than a month away, I want to make it special.

Let's hope that she doesn't over react to the songs that I put on it like she does with the radio.

i like your hair

Such a fucking bad throw up. I remember nearly everything I ate during my binge, I just couldn't tell what was what when I puked.

Binge:
*1 bowl of honey nut cheerios with skim milk.

*3 or 4 cereal bars. They're like rice crispie squares, but with every kind of "healthy" cereal there is.

*1 Coffee Crisp bar.

*Like, 10 Stone Wheat crackers with tofu hummus.

*1 apple fritter from 7-11.

*5 marshmallows.

*1 yam tempera roll.

*1 avocado roll.

*1 chocolate chunk cookie from Starbucks.

Fuck, that's a lot. And I don't think I even got everything out. I tasted everything, especially the hummus 'cause I could taste it the most. But shit, I'm not sure if I got everything from everything out. Oh god.

Whoo whoo, one way ticket to my thighs.

my god.

My god. I've gained a few more pounds and now, I'm at 94. Oh god, I haven't been this in... almost six months. I hate it so much. I hate feeling bloated and I hate feeling heavy and uncomfortable and just... ugh.

I had a good day yesterday, met up with two friends that I haven't hung out together with in awhile and it was just great. I ate a BUNCH of shit and I didn't care much about it until I went home. I got most of it out, but what I ate already during the early day was probably digested. What I mostly threw up was easter chocolate anyway.

I just binged right now and I don't know if I got everything out. I've got a bit of a Starbucks low-fat cranberry muffin inside of me, but this was what I ate.

Binge:

*1 low-fat Starbucks cranberry muffin.

*1 cranberry white chocolate shortbread cookie from the cafeteria.

*1 chocolate chip cookie from the cafeteria.

*2 chocolate chip cookies from the vending machine.

*3/4 of a bowl of vegetarian pesto hummus sort of stuff with a bunch of Stone Wheat crackers. I'm not entirely sure if it was hummus or not, but it tasted alright.

*1 sandwich with cucumbers, processed cheese and that pesto stuff.

*1 Coffee Crisp bar.

*2 bites of a cereal rice crispie square.

*1 chocolate dipped waffle cone with vanilla soft serve.

Aaand I think that's about it. Sort of? I'm not sure, but I definitely did not get everything out 'cause that's a lot of food and I didn't even puke out that much. Oh my fucking god, I'm going out for a walk Downtown. Right now.

I'll catch you guys as soon as I get back. Peace.